#Todaytodaytoday

I haven't seen my best friend since the 23rd of December.

This is the best friend who has sleepovers every night. And the one I immediately tell everything to. And the one who pretty much knows everything about me. And the one who has accidentally seen my boobs. And vice versa. To all of the above.

It has been six sleeps since we slept together. [Like in the same bed, you pervert!]

That is too many sleeps.

So I'm gonna love on her face forever and ever and ever. And I'm never going to let her go!!

Also, I know Christmas isn't about presents, but I got a unicorn. Seriously. Apparently she is named "Rainbow" but I'm renaming her "Sunshine" because I know rainbows are magical, but she doesn't need a magical name to be magical. She does that all on her own. BUT she is the light of my life, I think. Hence, Sunshine.

Also, also, I can't wait to start my new year off with my TWO best friends! FBF and Ray Charles. Sounds like a party, right? Right.

Also, also, also, I have a crush. On a boy. Which is never really news, because I am always crushing on a boy. And like most other times it will probably start getting to where I want it to go and freak out and run. But just in case anyone was wondering the status of my relationshipness - single, infatuated, excited, nervous, frustrated. But mostly excited. And giggly.

Also, also, also, also, I think I am gonna do challenge 365 this new year. [1 picture every day for a year. Check my top 25 before 25 bitches!] With my pretty unicorn camera. And I think I'm gonna document it on here. You're welcome in advance for looking at my year in pictures.

Also, also, also, also, also, I miss my nursies, two of which [M,O] are off galavanting the world, and one of which [K, or K Ruhls] is working too much for my liking. Plus she has a boyfriend, and those are time consuming, I hear.

Also, also, also, also, also, also, I hope you are as sick of reading the word 'also' as I am of typing it. I don't care. I'm not done talking.

Also, also, also, also, also, also, also, I actually wrote this post last night [which is actually today, right at this very moment as I am typing] when I was putting off laundry. I will never grow up.

Also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, I haven't showered in a while so I am pretty gross right now.

Also, I have been blogging for almost a year. Yikes!

xo. See you in the new year biznatches.

#China Doll

I spent 5 of the last 6 days in a class about Chinatown.

I sat through lectures, ate the food of my people, and wandered around a maze of shops and restaurants for 8 hours a day. Every. Day.

I was expecting to spend the entire week with my nursing friends. Being all giggly and silly and nursey together. Just like in every other class that I've taken.

I expected to listen to 8 hours of knowledge that has already occupied my brain from listening to my Grandma for the last 20 years.

I expected this class to be a breeze and a half. 5 long days in exchange for 4 long months? Yes please!

But man, was I ever thrown off my rocker!!

I was reunited with an old friend from high school. I met lots of cool and interesting people. I was blown away and inspired by the culture and history of a little town within our city. I devoured the food like it was going out of style. I was presented with opportunities to volunteer. I waited 45 minutes for bubble-less bubble tea. I forced my positive sunshiney-ness on strangers. I spent an hour and a half in a Buddhist temple. I took lots of pretty notes with lots of pretty pens. I drank copious amounts of tea. I learned a lot. Laughed a lot. Ate a lot.

This has probably been one of the most eye opening and interesting classes I've taken thus far in my university career. Probably because it pertained specifically to my life and personal history. Because I'm half Chinese, you see.

So while I may have enjoyed an extra week of summer I am so thankful that I was called to take that course. It made the transition back to my everyday routine that much easier!

#Love.Is.Found.Everywhere.

Pretty much sums it up.

#Softysweetymeltylove

I started yesterday off grumbling. I did not think it would be a good day.

I had barely any sleep the last two nights.

My best friend had gone back home the night before

I was exactly two weeks away from flying across the world (thinking about it is making me sick right now. I just can't seem to get excited. What is wrong with me?)

I had to sit in an office all day. Just like every Tuesday. But I really wanted to be outside, even more than usual.

Not a good day. I was a grumpy pants Debbie Downer.

Then something magical happened. It all turned around!

I had a fabulous lunch with a fabulous lady, I was written a love story on my starbucks by one of the sweetest silliest prettiest girls I know, I took 4 minutes out of my day and read my whole wall of sunshiney happiness, I spent the afternoon texting wonderful friends, I tanned my super pale legs for 30 seconds, and then it happened. IT happened.

I was with my 3 nursies. In the same room. All of us. Together. We talked, and giggled, and teased, and listened. I honestly don't think I smiled so big in over a month. These three ladies are my world. They are the best at listening, at laughing at my jokes, at holding my hand through the hard times and celebrating the good times. And they validate me. It doesn't matter what I'm feeling, who or what I'm feeling it towards, why I'm feeling that way. They will support me. They might not agree, but they will love me anyway and tell me that it's okay I feel that way. There's no judgement, or feelings of superiority. We all have strengths, we all have weaknesses, but that's why it works so well. We balance each other out. We're so similar but SO different at the same time. And at the end of the day, no matter what happens, we're always there for each other.

That's what friendship is.

#Breaking Hearts

You think you know. 


You selfishly think because something is going on in your life, because your life has come to a stop, that everything should revolve around you and your problems. Even for just a second. 


You see a friend post a facebook status, and then another one, calling her life a nightmare. And you bitterly comment on it. 


Your friend sends you a message with some of the most devastating news you have ever heard.


The pit falls out of the bottom of your stomach. The whole world  isn't on pause just because yours is. There is still stuff going on. People being hurt. People living, people dying, people grieving. You would give anything to help your friend. Anything.

M, I am so sorry that you are going through what you are going through. I love you so much. SO much. My heart is breaking for you. I know better than anyone that everyone is telling you to call if you need anything or let me know if you want to talk; and I'm not saying they don't mean it but I mean it from the bottom of my heart. And I know you don't want to bother people, and I know you don't really feel like talking because you don't know what to say. And I know you, and I don't think you would be comfortable crying in front of me. But know that I'm crying FOR you. My chest is tight, my heart is racing, my palms are sweating, my eyes are leaking, FOR you. Because you are amazing and I love you. So much more than you will ever know. Don't give up. Don't lose hope. I don't know if everything is going to be okay, I won't tell you it's going to be okay. But I know you are so strong, so brave, so amazingly resilient, that in the end YOU will be okay. 

I believe it. 

#Dear Nursies

I won't lie to you and tell you I'm not afraid of anything. Excuse me, it's me. I'm scared of practically everything. But one thing I've learned to embrace rather than fear is change. Life is an endless bounty of changes, twists and turns you didn't know were going to happen, and when you live in the past, and wish for what you had you miss out on everything happening right now.

However, the one thing I'm scared to death of is the end of school. At the end of April I will be done half of my degree, and the ladies I have the privilege to spend every day with will be halfway done as well.
So in 2 years time, where will we be?

I'm not going to lie. I don't think I'll talk to a lot of these people after I graduate. But there are 3 people who have invaded my soul in such a way that I can't imagine my life without them. So let me introduce to you the ladies who light up my world.

First we have O. O is my Christian sister, she's the one I can turn to when I need a prayer or a reminder of faith. She's the one that I can count on to listen to me cry, no matter the time of day, the one who will call just to see how life is going. And she's definitely the one you sit beside in class because she always has the answer so you never have to say anything. She is one of a kind, beautiful, smart, cute, and funny.  She is so sweet and humble, and if you hurt her I'll hurt you. She doesn't judge you, even if you did the worst thing possible, and she is always understanding of your situations and stories. She took me by the hand and lead me to become a much better person, and a much more faithful Christian.

Next we have K. Now listen here people, K is someone you would be lucky to have as a friend. She's always smiley and bubbly, adorably naive, hilariously upfront and sweetly sincere. She is the one who brightens a room with her smile (even when she smiles so big she strains her neck muscles), and who refuses to look at anything in a negative way (unless it involves working out or a gym). She stands up for what she believes in, and you can bet she'd stand up for you if you ever needed it. She has an admirable strength when it comes to commitment, and always has faith things will work out. Her giggley laugh is completely infectious, and you can't help but smile when she does. She is absolutely beautiful, inside and out.

And finally we have M. M is my soul sister, my warrior princess. She is hilariously snarky, and is always making me laugh. She puts up a tough front, but when you get past it she is a softymeltysweetheart. Not to everyone, ohhh hell no, not to everyone. But to the people she cares about she is the most loyal and honest person you will come across. Her sarcastic comments in class keep it entertaining, especially when the prof accidentally over hears it. She embodies friendship, from the biggest hugs, to the sweetest words, the inside jokes, to the shoulder to cry on. Her words are always sweet, and talking to her is like a giant boost to your self esteem. She is so generous, and always puts herself out there to help out whenever she can. There is nobody like her, with her fiery temper, and her genuine soul. She has a heart of gold that will never be forgotten.

These three ladies are my #1. They tied. No joke. They are the reason I get up every day and suffer through 3 hour lectures about nothing. They keep me motivated and grounded. I can promise you I would not be the person I am today without them. And I sure as hell would not have made it through the last year without their support, and guidance, and prayers. They have been and endless supply of love, kindness, laughter, and support. They are probably some of the most awesome people you'll ever meet. Until the day I die I will count myself lucky to have these girls as my friends. I'm scared that in 2 years time, when some of us marry and move to Connecticut, and some of us marry and have babies, and some of us continue to travel the world and see everything there is to see, we will lose touch.

So to you three, thank you. You mean the world and more to me. I am so grateful for everything you've done for me, and I promise you I will do my very best to reciprocate. I'm always here for you guys, no matter where you are, or how long it's been since we've last spoken. You will be my #1 no matter what <3

PS I cried the whole time I wrote this. I'm literally crazily in love with our friendships.