#China Doll

I spent 5 of the last 6 days in a class about Chinatown.

I sat through lectures, ate the food of my people, and wandered around a maze of shops and restaurants for 8 hours a day. Every. Day.

I was expecting to spend the entire week with my nursing friends. Being all giggly and silly and nursey together. Just like in every other class that I've taken.

I expected to listen to 8 hours of knowledge that has already occupied my brain from listening to my Grandma for the last 20 years.

I expected this class to be a breeze and a half. 5 long days in exchange for 4 long months? Yes please!

But man, was I ever thrown off my rocker!!

I was reunited with an old friend from high school. I met lots of cool and interesting people. I was blown away and inspired by the culture and history of a little town within our city. I devoured the food like it was going out of style. I was presented with opportunities to volunteer. I waited 45 minutes for bubble-less bubble tea. I forced my positive sunshiney-ness on strangers. I spent an hour and a half in a Buddhist temple. I took lots of pretty notes with lots of pretty pens. I drank copious amounts of tea. I learned a lot. Laughed a lot. Ate a lot.

This has probably been one of the most eye opening and interesting classes I've taken thus far in my university career. Probably because it pertained specifically to my life and personal history. Because I'm half Chinese, you see.

So while I may have enjoyed an extra week of summer I am so thankful that I was called to take that course. It made the transition back to my everyday routine that much easier!

#Getting Ready

I have a confession.

I am a giant nerd.

Like seriously. Especially when it comes to school.

I have an organization fetish when it comes to my school work.

I have binders and dividers and folders and notebooks and agendas and schedules and pens. Many many different colored pens.

20 to be exact.

They go yellow-orange-red-reddish pink-pink-purpley pink-purple-dark blue-slightly less dark blue-blue-light blue-teal-light green-green-forest green-brown-yucky orange-grey-silvery grey-black.

Yucky orange was thrown in the back because I don't really use it. It's not pretty like the others.

And I color code everything. Everything.

This is my schedule next semester:

EAST 321 - Introduction into Calgary's Chinese Community

CORE 553 - Disability across a lifespan

NURS 401 - Community Health Theory

NURS 402 - Community Health Practice

PHIL 347 - Contemporary Moral Problems

And this is how the color coding will go

EAST 321 - textbook notes

EAST 321 - class notes

CORE 553 - textbook notes

CORE 553 - class notes

NURS 401 - textbook notes

NURS 401 - class notes

NURS 402 - clinical notes

NURS 402 - assignments

PHIL 347 - textbook notes

PHIL 347 - class notes


I also check my school email pretty much every day. And I saw that one of my instructors posted his course outline on his website.

So I checked it out.

And I wrote in my agenda in this pretty red color when all my assignments are due and other important dates for this course.

School doesn't start for over a month. And I am planning out my year.

And now I'm eagerly awaiting my other 4 courses to go up online so I can plan more. And color code more. And be more organized for the first day of school.

I also like to go out and buy my schooly materials at about this time. And I always buy recycled notebooks and stuff. So that I'm environmentally friendly while going to school. I feel like it makes up for me driving my greenhouse gas spewing car sometimes everywhere I go.

So anyway, you can pretty much hold me to this post once I actually start school again and complain about not having a life. Because we all know that's going to happen. In all seriousness though, I really, really love school. Because I love learning new things and sounding smart and stuff. I like to whip out crazy knowledge at parties and the bar. Because guys find that super attractive and not at all intimidating. That is clearly how you get all the boys.

#She's That Kind Of Beautiful

Did you know that you're beautiful?

You. Yeah, you! Look in a mirror. You're beautiful.

Believe it. Because you are.

And don't let anybody tell you otherwise.

Don't let people get you down.

Only listen to the ones who build you up.

I don't care what he said or she said or they said or your dog said.

I don't care if you're having a fat day, if you're skin is breaking out, if you're hair won't do what you want it to.

I know that you have your own special qualities, talents, endowments, and attributes that make you who you are. That make you beautiful.

So I don't care what anybody else, including you, says.

You.

Are.

Beautiful.



#Softysweetymeltylove

I started yesterday off grumbling. I did not think it would be a good day.

I had barely any sleep the last two nights.

My best friend had gone back home the night before

I was exactly two weeks away from flying across the world (thinking about it is making me sick right now. I just can't seem to get excited. What is wrong with me?)

I had to sit in an office all day. Just like every Tuesday. But I really wanted to be outside, even more than usual.

Not a good day. I was a grumpy pants Debbie Downer.

Then something magical happened. It all turned around!

I had a fabulous lunch with a fabulous lady, I was written a love story on my starbucks by one of the sweetest silliest prettiest girls I know, I took 4 minutes out of my day and read my whole wall of sunshiney happiness, I spent the afternoon texting wonderful friends, I tanned my super pale legs for 30 seconds, and then it happened. IT happened.

I was with my 3 nursies. In the same room. All of us. Together. We talked, and giggled, and teased, and listened. I honestly don't think I smiled so big in over a month. These three ladies are my world. They are the best at listening, at laughing at my jokes, at holding my hand through the hard times and celebrating the good times. And they validate me. It doesn't matter what I'm feeling, who or what I'm feeling it towards, why I'm feeling that way. They will support me. They might not agree, but they will love me anyway and tell me that it's okay I feel that way. There's no judgement, or feelings of superiority. We all have strengths, we all have weaknesses, but that's why it works so well. We balance each other out. We're so similar but SO different at the same time. And at the end of the day, no matter what happens, we're always there for each other.

That's what friendship is.

#Mental Health

I'll be honest, I just want to be a nurse already.

I get that the school part is kind of important but I'm just ready to be there. Now.

Don't get me wrong, I love the learny part of school. Just not the testy and papery part of it. And how long it actually takes to finish everything.

And when I sit in those classes about illness - whether it's mental, or physical illness, I diagnose myself with everything.

"Diabetics have a different perception of pain"
"Sometimes I think pain is funny and not very hurty....I'm a diabetic."

"People with dependant personality disorder have anxiety when they're alone."
"Sometimes I don't like to be alone....I have dependant personality disorder."

"Asians and caucasians have an increased risk for heart disease."
"I'm half asian and half caucasian. I have heart disease."

"Older women are susceptible to osteoporosis"
"I'm a woman, and I'm pretty much old. I have osteoporosis."

Every class. Everything is relatable to me in some way. I have everything. I probably even had testicular cancer at one point.

There is one disease I know I have. Pica.

Pica (PY-ka) - a medical disorder characterized by an appetite for substances largely non-nutritive or an abnormal appetite for food ingredients. (I took this from wikipedia. don't judge.)

I eat ice. All day every day. It is non-nutritive, and a food ingredient. I get drinks with ice all the time.

Like an Iced Capp from Tim Hortons. Did you know if you let your iced capp sit for long enough it separates and the ice floats to the top and the juices sink to the bottom?

Well, I wait for mine to separate. Then I pour out the coffee and chew on the ice. All the time. This is not a joke.

I also just eat ice. As if it were a snack. No big deal. Just me and my glass of ice.

The stupid thing is I'M ALWAYS COLD. Solution = stop eating ice. Problem With Solution = I can't.

Icey drinks are my favorite. Blended icey drinks make my heart happy. Ice is my kryptonite.

I also used to eat snow when I was a kid. Never yellow snow, but still. I would pick it up and eat it. All. Day. I feel like that relates to my ice fixation kind of.

I also feel like I used to eat rocks when I was really little. Maybe that was a dream but I think it was real. I'll ask my mom.

Oh well. It's not an issue, it doesn't interfere with my every day living. I'll just continue living with Pica.

I think I might also be a hypochondriac...

The best day ever?

I'm sure you are thinking whooa wait a minute.. this isn't Rye.. this is some strange white girl. Rye invited me to do some "guest blogs" while I am in Jamaaaica. Ok, so on with the actual blog..

I am working at a health clinic in Mandeville Jamaica, and this week I was given the opportunity to work in the family planning clinic for a day. I entered the family planning area and was greeted by a very sweet nurse, who called me "Christine" the entire day. She had only met me for a few minutes before letting me get right to work. She showed me how the family planning appointment was supposed to go, including where to chart, had a lady come sit down, and then said "ok give it a try!".

If family planning is an unfamiliar term for you, it just means birth control essentially. I took blood pressures and recorded how they were doing with their current "method". More times than not they were on a depot shot of pentogen (injectable birth control), so I got to practice a lot of IM injections throughout the day. My nurse got some other work done around her office while guiding me occasionally through the first few patients, then she set up and we both took patients. I felt really helpful and excited to be trusted with all the charting and everything. For me, it was like the best day ever!

For someone else though, it was possibly one of the worst ever. A young lady sat down beside me to get her blood pressure done, turns out she didn't have an appointment though, she came to ask a question. She said to me "excuse me? can you tell me what this means?" and then she showed me a text message "my boyfriend sent this to me". It was a blood test result for herpes, and it said POS. I had to explain to her that this meant her boyfriend was positive for herpes, an STI. She looked at me like she wasn't quite sure how bad of news this was. "Will it go away?" I had to tell her herpes was not curable, you could just manage the symptoms. "Do I have it too?" I had to explain to her that most likely she had it as well. My nurse pointed out that she could have had it and not known, and given it to her boyfriend. "But I was tested for HIV when I was pregnant and I didn't have it!" We had to tell her that there are many different STI's and they don't test all of them when you are pregnant. We told her she needed to get tested and see the contact investigator to get treatment. I gave her some condoms and reminded her why they are used, to avoid pregnancy, and prevent spread of infection.

A lab tech I worked with yesterday did not want to give a boy who looked around 16 any condoms because he was "so young, and should be focusing on school." The problem I am having is you give them "protection", you are saying go ahead, this is okay. You make birth control/condoms unavailable, you don't provide information, you end up with pregnant teenagers and girls like I met today who come in wondering what positive for herpes means. I think that there needs to be some sort of middle ground, where we can teach young people about birth control, about STI's, about the dangers of unprotected sex, about how to stay safe, but at the same time, not ENCOURAGE them to have sex. Is this possible?

#It's a Brand New Day

It's funny how a little bit of sleep, a little bit of prayer and a little bit of support from the people you love is enough to make everything seem alright.

Today is going to be a great day. 

I am so filled with love and happiness right now, even more than usual. That's a lot for those of you who don't know. I am filled with a new optimism for the people around me. I love every single one of you. Every. Single. One. YAY LOVE! Thank you to everyone who has stopped to talk to me today. You make my days enjoyable. And you all definitely made me smile today!

miracles just happen, silent prayers get answered, broken hearts become brand new. that's what faith can do. - Kutless

*on a side note, I'm laying in bed typing this and my bowel sounds are out of this world loud!

#Cheekies

I have chubby chipmunk cheekies.

It's not a bad thing. This is not a post looking for everyone to say "Excuse me miss, I do declare your cheekies are super skinny and not chipmunk like" because, in fact, I like my chipmunk cheekies. They are pinch-able and love-able and everything else that is great about chipmunk cheekies. 

This post actually has nothing to do with cheeks though. And it has everything to do with nursing. 

Everytime I step into the hospital I know what is waiting for me. Sick, grumpy people, 8 hour shifts full of standing and walking, blood, vomit, poop, and everything in between, the pressure of holding someone's life in my hands, illness, heartbreak, and sometimes, unfortunately, death. And I can't help but love it. 

Everything about nursing was completely made for me. Helping people? Check. Oodles and oodles of knowledge? Check. Working one on one with people? Check. Having full on conversations about people's poops? Check.

Yep, being a nurse won't be easy, it's not going to be something that will come easily to me all days, it's not something I will leave all the time satisfied with how the day went. But it's what I'm completelyridiculouslyonehundredpercent in love with.

Even when I have to write bajillions of papers. What on earth does writing papers have to do with nursing. This amount of paper writing is ridiculous. 

#Dear Nursies

I won't lie to you and tell you I'm not afraid of anything. Excuse me, it's me. I'm scared of practically everything. But one thing I've learned to embrace rather than fear is change. Life is an endless bounty of changes, twists and turns you didn't know were going to happen, and when you live in the past, and wish for what you had you miss out on everything happening right now.

However, the one thing I'm scared to death of is the end of school. At the end of April I will be done half of my degree, and the ladies I have the privilege to spend every day with will be halfway done as well.
So in 2 years time, where will we be?

I'm not going to lie. I don't think I'll talk to a lot of these people after I graduate. But there are 3 people who have invaded my soul in such a way that I can't imagine my life without them. So let me introduce to you the ladies who light up my world.

First we have O. O is my Christian sister, she's the one I can turn to when I need a prayer or a reminder of faith. She's the one that I can count on to listen to me cry, no matter the time of day, the one who will call just to see how life is going. And she's definitely the one you sit beside in class because she always has the answer so you never have to say anything. She is one of a kind, beautiful, smart, cute, and funny.  She is so sweet and humble, and if you hurt her I'll hurt you. She doesn't judge you, even if you did the worst thing possible, and she is always understanding of your situations and stories. She took me by the hand and lead me to become a much better person, and a much more faithful Christian.

Next we have K. Now listen here people, K is someone you would be lucky to have as a friend. She's always smiley and bubbly, adorably naive, hilariously upfront and sweetly sincere. She is the one who brightens a room with her smile (even when she smiles so big she strains her neck muscles), and who refuses to look at anything in a negative way (unless it involves working out or a gym). She stands up for what she believes in, and you can bet she'd stand up for you if you ever needed it. She has an admirable strength when it comes to commitment, and always has faith things will work out. Her giggley laugh is completely infectious, and you can't help but smile when she does. She is absolutely beautiful, inside and out.

And finally we have M. M is my soul sister, my warrior princess. She is hilariously snarky, and is always making me laugh. She puts up a tough front, but when you get past it she is a softymeltysweetheart. Not to everyone, ohhh hell no, not to everyone. But to the people she cares about she is the most loyal and honest person you will come across. Her sarcastic comments in class keep it entertaining, especially when the prof accidentally over hears it. She embodies friendship, from the biggest hugs, to the sweetest words, the inside jokes, to the shoulder to cry on. Her words are always sweet, and talking to her is like a giant boost to your self esteem. She is so generous, and always puts herself out there to help out whenever she can. There is nobody like her, with her fiery temper, and her genuine soul. She has a heart of gold that will never be forgotten.

These three ladies are my #1. They tied. No joke. They are the reason I get up every day and suffer through 3 hour lectures about nothing. They keep me motivated and grounded. I can promise you I would not be the person I am today without them. And I sure as hell would not have made it through the last year without their support, and guidance, and prayers. They have been and endless supply of love, kindness, laughter, and support. They are probably some of the most awesome people you'll ever meet. Until the day I die I will count myself lucky to have these girls as my friends. I'm scared that in 2 years time, when some of us marry and move to Connecticut, and some of us marry and have babies, and some of us continue to travel the world and see everything there is to see, we will lose touch.

So to you three, thank you. You mean the world and more to me. I am so grateful for everything you've done for me, and I promise you I will do my very best to reciprocate. I'm always here for you guys, no matter where you are, or how long it's been since we've last spoken. You will be my #1 no matter what <3

PS I cried the whole time I wrote this. I'm literally crazily in love with our friendships.