#Todaytodaytoday

I haven't seen my best friend since the 23rd of December.

This is the best friend who has sleepovers every night. And the one I immediately tell everything to. And the one who pretty much knows everything about me. And the one who has accidentally seen my boobs. And vice versa. To all of the above.

It has been six sleeps since we slept together. [Like in the same bed, you pervert!]

That is too many sleeps.

So I'm gonna love on her face forever and ever and ever. And I'm never going to let her go!!

Also, I know Christmas isn't about presents, but I got a unicorn. Seriously. Apparently she is named "Rainbow" but I'm renaming her "Sunshine" because I know rainbows are magical, but she doesn't need a magical name to be magical. She does that all on her own. BUT she is the light of my life, I think. Hence, Sunshine.

Also, also, I can't wait to start my new year off with my TWO best friends! FBF and Ray Charles. Sounds like a party, right? Right.

Also, also, also, I have a crush. On a boy. Which is never really news, because I am always crushing on a boy. And like most other times it will probably start getting to where I want it to go and freak out and run. But just in case anyone was wondering the status of my relationshipness - single, infatuated, excited, nervous, frustrated. But mostly excited. And giggly.

Also, also, also, also, I think I am gonna do challenge 365 this new year. [1 picture every day for a year. Check my top 25 before 25 bitches!] With my pretty unicorn camera. And I think I'm gonna document it on here. You're welcome in advance for looking at my year in pictures.

Also, also, also, also, also, I miss my nursies, two of which [M,O] are off galavanting the world, and one of which [K, or K Ruhls] is working too much for my liking. Plus she has a boyfriend, and those are time consuming, I hear.

Also, also, also, also, also, also, I hope you are as sick of reading the word 'also' as I am of typing it. I don't care. I'm not done talking.

Also, also, also, also, also, also, also, I actually wrote this post last night [which is actually today, right at this very moment as I am typing] when I was putting off laundry. I will never grow up.

Also, also, also, also, also, also, also, also, I haven't showered in a while so I am pretty gross right now.

Also, I have been blogging for almost a year. Yikes!

xo. See you in the new year biznatches.

#364 days a year....

......I am myself.

And lately I've been dreaming of an escape. Just a temporary one.

Escape from my reality.

364 days a year I am myself.

But for tonight, the opportunities are endless.

The choices are infinite.

Tonight I can be anything I want.

Tonight I'm going to a sweet party.

Tonight I'm going to an awesome show.

Tonight I get to be someone who is not me. Just for a little while.

I get to check my life, my problems, my stresses, and my anxieties, with my coat.

Tonight I am a lost boy.

And tonight....we dance.

#China Doll

I spent 5 of the last 6 days in a class about Chinatown.

I sat through lectures, ate the food of my people, and wandered around a maze of shops and restaurants for 8 hours a day. Every. Day.

I was expecting to spend the entire week with my nursing friends. Being all giggly and silly and nursey together. Just like in every other class that I've taken.

I expected to listen to 8 hours of knowledge that has already occupied my brain from listening to my Grandma for the last 20 years.

I expected this class to be a breeze and a half. 5 long days in exchange for 4 long months? Yes please!

But man, was I ever thrown off my rocker!!

I was reunited with an old friend from high school. I met lots of cool and interesting people. I was blown away and inspired by the culture and history of a little town within our city. I devoured the food like it was going out of style. I was presented with opportunities to volunteer. I waited 45 minutes for bubble-less bubble tea. I forced my positive sunshiney-ness on strangers. I spent an hour and a half in a Buddhist temple. I took lots of pretty notes with lots of pretty pens. I drank copious amounts of tea. I learned a lot. Laughed a lot. Ate a lot.

This has probably been one of the most eye opening and interesting classes I've taken thus far in my university career. Probably because it pertained specifically to my life and personal history. Because I'm half Chinese, you see.

So while I may have enjoyed an extra week of summer I am so thankful that I was called to take that course. It made the transition back to my everyday routine that much easier!

#Love.Is.Found.Everywhere.

Pretty much sums it up.

#Softysweetymeltylove

I started yesterday off grumbling. I did not think it would be a good day.

I had barely any sleep the last two nights.

My best friend had gone back home the night before

I was exactly two weeks away from flying across the world (thinking about it is making me sick right now. I just can't seem to get excited. What is wrong with me?)

I had to sit in an office all day. Just like every Tuesday. But I really wanted to be outside, even more than usual.

Not a good day. I was a grumpy pants Debbie Downer.

Then something magical happened. It all turned around!

I had a fabulous lunch with a fabulous lady, I was written a love story on my starbucks by one of the sweetest silliest prettiest girls I know, I took 4 minutes out of my day and read my whole wall of sunshiney happiness, I spent the afternoon texting wonderful friends, I tanned my super pale legs for 30 seconds, and then it happened. IT happened.

I was with my 3 nursies. In the same room. All of us. Together. We talked, and giggled, and teased, and listened. I honestly don't think I smiled so big in over a month. These three ladies are my world. They are the best at listening, at laughing at my jokes, at holding my hand through the hard times and celebrating the good times. And they validate me. It doesn't matter what I'm feeling, who or what I'm feeling it towards, why I'm feeling that way. They will support me. They might not agree, but they will love me anyway and tell me that it's okay I feel that way. There's no judgement, or feelings of superiority. We all have strengths, we all have weaknesses, but that's why it works so well. We balance each other out. We're so similar but SO different at the same time. And at the end of the day, no matter what happens, we're always there for each other.

That's what friendship is.

A little bit of Jamaican culture for you...

Originally this was going to be a post about one particular event that I found to be really funny.. and then I decided it might not be as hilarious to everyone else. So instead of just telling you about a Jamaican concert experience, I figured I would just tell you about random things I have noticed in the last few weeks.

Chicken- everybody eats it, all the time. Stewed, baked, fried, curried, jerked- I have eaten chicken everyday so far except maybe 2.

Rice and Peas- they are not really peas, it is a lie! They are beans, like kidney beans I think. Everybody also eats this. I found one Jamaican who picks out the peas like I sometimes (most of the time) do. It was a bonding moment.

Oranges- you peel them with a knife. Mangos- you peel them with your teeth.

Whitie- every white person in Jamaica.

Hey Whitie, come here! - What I hear at least 10 times per day

Jamaican concert- at least 10-15 artists who all play like 6 songs each... but only 30 seconds to 1 minute of each song. Usually you hear "NEXT TRACK!" in between songs.

Jamaican boyfriend*- A large percent of all the boys that you meet want to be yours- regardless of if you are dating or married back at home.

Jamaican men in general- always want you to "come here", and they are usually across the street, sitting on some bench, or on the odd occasion in the 2nd story of some shady looking building (and it is dark outside). The upside to this is they hardly ever get up and try to follow you, so all you have to do is wave, say "hi, no I'm good" and keep walking.

Sugar - in everything. Even when you think it is just fruit juice.. there is added sugar.

Diabetes - called "sugars" Seizures - called "fits"

"Soon come" - common phrase meaning I'll be back, but you never know if they will be 5 minutes, or 5 hours.

Sweetie- Not only a cute name to affectionally call someone, but also the name for candy. For example, last week I was given a mint sweetie.

*I have a Jamaican boyfriend. His name is Tennyson, and he is 4 months old.

#Celebrations!

Today is bittersweet.

One year ago today my daddy was diagnosed with cancer. It was the day that everything changed. Since then we have undergone a war of ups and downs and everything in between. It's been the most emotionally draining year God could have put down upon us. But we're here. We're stronger. We're God-lovers. We're together. And I think that's what matters.

So I can look back on the life I used to have and mourn it. Or I can look at the new life God has given me and rejoice in it. I love my Daddy, and I'm super glad he was given another chance at fighting this disease. He is so strong. He is so brave. And I know I've done 2 other posts about how strong and brave and wonderful this man is but I dont think you understand how much of an inspiration he is to me!

Last night (while I was out, in my flip flops, because I needed toe painting therapy yesterday) me and my mom were talking about biblical stories she could read me before bed (um yeah....20 years old and my mommy is still reading me bedtime stories. No judgement.) and the story of David and Goliath came up. You know the one where a young boy (who later becomes king) defeats a giant with only a sling and a stone and the power of God?? That reminds me of my Daddy. Defeating this giant that has beaten so many others with little to no ammunition and only the power of our Lord and Saviour.

And Daddy comes home to stay today! After more than 3 months in the hospital! Look how far we've come in a year.

But today is not only a one year anniversary of a definitive diagnosis, it is a 21 year anniversary. Of the birth of one of the lovely ladies that I have the privilege to call my friend. She is super sweet and kind and caring. She has a cute little giggly laugh and a pretty smile. And she has an endearing passion for helping people that is going to make her an amazing nurse. I love this girl muchly, she has been there for me through so much and she is completely irreplaceable. I love her because she loves snails eating lettuce, and she wants to travel the world with me, and she is pretty much me but living in a super cute non-chinese body!

So today I'm choosing to celebrate life. Because life is the ultimate gift from God. Yay!

#Dear Nursies

I won't lie to you and tell you I'm not afraid of anything. Excuse me, it's me. I'm scared of practically everything. But one thing I've learned to embrace rather than fear is change. Life is an endless bounty of changes, twists and turns you didn't know were going to happen, and when you live in the past, and wish for what you had you miss out on everything happening right now.

However, the one thing I'm scared to death of is the end of school. At the end of April I will be done half of my degree, and the ladies I have the privilege to spend every day with will be halfway done as well.
So in 2 years time, where will we be?

I'm not going to lie. I don't think I'll talk to a lot of these people after I graduate. But there are 3 people who have invaded my soul in such a way that I can't imagine my life without them. So let me introduce to you the ladies who light up my world.

First we have O. O is my Christian sister, she's the one I can turn to when I need a prayer or a reminder of faith. She's the one that I can count on to listen to me cry, no matter the time of day, the one who will call just to see how life is going. And she's definitely the one you sit beside in class because she always has the answer so you never have to say anything. She is one of a kind, beautiful, smart, cute, and funny.  She is so sweet and humble, and if you hurt her I'll hurt you. She doesn't judge you, even if you did the worst thing possible, and she is always understanding of your situations and stories. She took me by the hand and lead me to become a much better person, and a much more faithful Christian.

Next we have K. Now listen here people, K is someone you would be lucky to have as a friend. She's always smiley and bubbly, adorably naive, hilariously upfront and sweetly sincere. She is the one who brightens a room with her smile (even when she smiles so big she strains her neck muscles), and who refuses to look at anything in a negative way (unless it involves working out or a gym). She stands up for what she believes in, and you can bet she'd stand up for you if you ever needed it. She has an admirable strength when it comes to commitment, and always has faith things will work out. Her giggley laugh is completely infectious, and you can't help but smile when she does. She is absolutely beautiful, inside and out.

And finally we have M. M is my soul sister, my warrior princess. She is hilariously snarky, and is always making me laugh. She puts up a tough front, but when you get past it she is a softymeltysweetheart. Not to everyone, ohhh hell no, not to everyone. But to the people she cares about she is the most loyal and honest person you will come across. Her sarcastic comments in class keep it entertaining, especially when the prof accidentally over hears it. She embodies friendship, from the biggest hugs, to the sweetest words, the inside jokes, to the shoulder to cry on. Her words are always sweet, and talking to her is like a giant boost to your self esteem. She is so generous, and always puts herself out there to help out whenever she can. There is nobody like her, with her fiery temper, and her genuine soul. She has a heart of gold that will never be forgotten.

These three ladies are my #1. They tied. No joke. They are the reason I get up every day and suffer through 3 hour lectures about nothing. They keep me motivated and grounded. I can promise you I would not be the person I am today without them. And I sure as hell would not have made it through the last year without their support, and guidance, and prayers. They have been and endless supply of love, kindness, laughter, and support. They are probably some of the most awesome people you'll ever meet. Until the day I die I will count myself lucky to have these girls as my friends. I'm scared that in 2 years time, when some of us marry and move to Connecticut, and some of us marry and have babies, and some of us continue to travel the world and see everything there is to see, we will lose touch.

So to you three, thank you. You mean the world and more to me. I am so grateful for everything you've done for me, and I promise you I will do my very best to reciprocate. I'm always here for you guys, no matter where you are, or how long it's been since we've last spoken. You will be my #1 no matter what <3

PS I cried the whole time I wrote this. I'm literally crazily in love with our friendships.