No seriously, I don't even really like listening to myself talk.
But because I was a dummy and one of my extremities is out of order I have nothing to do but sit in my room and listen to myself talk.
And also knit socks.
Just kidding, I'm not skilled enough to knit socks....yet.
However! I have had time to ponder many of life's mysteries. Such as, but not limited to:
"I wonder if anyone has ever counted the bristles on a toothbrush."
"Who decided that Easter would be about chocolate?"
"Why can't I get motivated to finish my last assignment?"
"Who decided pink and red don't go together?"
"What do owls think of?"
"Why is mint chocolate chip ice cream so damn good?"
"Are ghosts real?"
See? Nothing worth sharing with people.
BUT I did have time to muster up a list of things to do if you ever find yourself in a disabled state (such as the one I am in now).
Let me share my knowledge with you!
1. Learn how to knit socks (have I already talked about this?)
2. Watch the last Harry Potter movie. Cry.
3. Eat your mom's cooking.
4. Finally learn how to tie your shoes! (Kidding..)
5. Braid your hair (male counterpart - braid your armpit hair)
6. Listen to the song "Call Me Maybe" and lie to the world when you say you hate it.
7. Choreograph a dance to "Call Me Maybe" in your head, and use it as a party trick to impress your friends.
8. Watch everything on Netflix.
9. Play with stickers.
10. Count to 1000. Twice.
11. Listen to your bowel sounds.
12. Practice singing Boyz II Men, then sing it to anyone you find attractive.
13. Ab workouts :(
14. Color a picture for your mom.
15. Drink an excessive amount of wine.
16. Cover yourself in brightly coloured bandaids.
17. Buy a cat. Cuddle it.
18. Tell your new cat you aren't lonely. No really, you aren't.
19. Stay updated on dictionary.com's "Word of the day".
20. Dream of how great your life would be if you were a mermaid.
21. Wash your hands.
22. Drink a lot of vanilla bean lattes.
23. Learn how to play the french horn.
24. Draw a moustache on your face. Tell people it's real.
25. Google yourself.
26. Sing every thought that comes to your head, and make your life a musical.
27. Sleep.
28. Continue living your double life as a teenage mutant ninja turtle.
I want you to know I worked hard on putting that list together instead of working on things I was supposed to be doing. So you're welcome.
