That's why I like to think that my body has a mind and personality of it's own.
Or I guess...that my body parts have a mind and personality. Complete with thoughts and feelings.
[I know, just when everyone thought they had my crazy figured out.]
Anyway, I thought I would give everyone a peek into how my body feels about life in everyday situations that I put it through. Because I have nothing better to write about.
My Feet:
In shoes - "Fine, just put me in foot jail. It's not like I had plans today or anything."
In heels - "DEAR LORD! I'M SORRY!! I CONFESS!! WHAT DO I HAVE TO SAY TO GET OUT OF THESE TORTURE DEVICES?!?!"
Barefoot - "I'm cold."
In socks - "I'm hot."
In flip flops - "I knew you loved me. I knew it deep down in my metatarsals"
My Hands:
In gloves - "These feel yucky"
In mittens - "I'M A CRAB!!"
With nail polish on - "I am classy."
With a ring on - "I am beautiful."
With a ring on after eating a lot of salty popcorn - "I'M SUFFOCATING!"
With nothing - "I'm naked"
My hair:
When I stay home - "I am the most beautiful, voluptuous, magical creature you have ever seen!"
When I have to go out - "I hate you and this is me rebelling against you because I just hate you so much."
When I'm going to work - "Let me guess. Ponytail again. How original, nurse riah."
When I'm going on a date/to a fancy place/a party/any type of social gathering - "Today I decided to play a game called 'pretend to be an electrocuted raccoon'....and I won!!"
My legs:
While running - "I am jiggly."
While squatting - "I want to go back to running :("
After squatting - "Geesh, could I be any foxier?!"
In jeans - "I can't breathe"
In leggings - "I can breathe AND I look fabulous!"
In compression stockings - "I LIED!!! I WONT MIND VARICOSE VEINS!!!"
In sweats - "This is what heaven is. I know it."
In shorts - "I am chafing somewhere around my upper thigh region.."
In a dress - "I'm naked"
My arms:
In a t-shit - "HA! I'm exposed and there is nothing you can do about it!"
In a tank top - "No. This is TOO exposed."
In a cardigan - "I am comfortable in here hiding from people."
When I dance - "WHY AM I SO FAR FROM THE GROUND?! PUT ME BACK DOWN!!"
My Boobs
When in a bra - "I hate my life"
When in a sports bra - Nothing. They dont have thoughts or feelings because they don't exist when I put them in a sports bra.
When I'm not wearing ANY bra - "And I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeee! Free faaaaaalling!"
My Tummy:
When doing sit-ups - "No."
When planking - "No."
When eating salad - "No."
When eating french fries - "Never stop."
When wearing a t shirt - "Work out, fatty"
When wearing a dress - "Work out, fatty"
When wearing a bathing suit - "Work out AND go on a diet, fatty."
When wearing a baggy sweater - "CAKE TIME!!"
PS: what I take from the above quote is Zac Efron thinks I'm the most beautiful because I have so much personality. Sorry ladies.
