#A Little Ray Of Sunshine

Old and Black - An epic birthday tale.

This is a story of gross mokeys and potato boobs.

Our story begins on a warm summer evening many many years ago. An old black man was born. His name was Ray Charles.

Ray was a sweet man with a soulful voice. And one day he had to go to high school. Going to high school as an old black man can be really intimidating, because people are racist, but lo and behold he met another old black man on the first day through their mutual friend Sam.

"Ray! This man is also old and black! I bet you would like to be his friend!" said Sam.

"Does he like playing Mario Party, eating unhealthy food, and doing broom dances?" asked Ray.

"You bet your fine, old, black beeeeeeehind I do." replied Morgan Freeman, the other old black man.

And it was best friendship ever since.

Later on that year Ray realized that Morgan was not only an old black man with a deep beautiful voice, but he was also a Chinese Seamstress!! And he was being held captive by Nike to sew shoes when he wasn't at school!

So Ray went on an adventure to break Morgan out of that sweatshop.

When they left school one Tuesday afternoon, after going for walks and hanging out at starbucks and the mall all day, Ray went with Morgan to his home. They had delicious salmon made by Morgan's mother Marj, and then made her a cake for 'Marj Appreciation Day'. She appreciated their appreciation. And they secretly appreciated that they had an excuse to eat cake.

When all the salmon and cake was gone Morgan went to his room then disappeared. Ray went into Morgan's room to try and find out where he had disappeared to. This seemed like a mystery fit for Nancy Drew! So Ray whipped out his magnifying glass and went to work. He was exhausted after 2 and a half minutes of looking and leaned on a loose brick. That was the brick you had to lean on to open the secret doorway!! Who knew!!

Ray went along the dark hallway to go find his friend Morgan. When he came to the end of the hallway he realized he was now in China in the sweatshop that Morgan was a slave to.

"Pssssst - Morgan!" Ray whispered.

"Ray! How did you find me here?! You're blind!" gasped Morgan.

"I followed the sounds of your sweet voice Morgan! I'm breaking you out of here, because this is no place for an old black man!" exclaimed Ray.

"HEY! You can't steal Morgan! He's our token black man." Said one of the guards.

"I will play piano and sing to you if you set him free!" cried Ray.

"Will you also make an interpretive dance to a song from Mulan?" the guard inquired.

"Abosultely." replied Ray.

So Ray played piano and sang and made an interpretive dance and the sweatshop had no choice but to let Morgan go.

"Thank you best friend!" said Morgan as they left that sweaty shoppy place.

"Any time best friend!" said Ray, "let's go be old and black together somewhere!"

And so they did.

THE END!

Happy Birthday Ray Charles! Love you long time.



#Pop and Lock It

So I've been super stressed lately. 

It's been a pretty stressful life.

And I woke up today feeling like saggy old man balls.

Sore.Tired.Grumpy.Sick.

In less than 2 weeks I will be old. Like SO old. Twenties is older than anyone should ever have to be.

I called in sick to work, because work does not need saggy old man balls there today.

I would be sitting at my desk doing nothing and infecting people with my ballsness.

Then I walked into the washroom and saw the giant zit on my face.

HELLO! If I have to be old I don't feel like I should have to have stupid adolescent problems like acne anymore.

But I do.

So I did what any normal disgusting person would do.

I popped it. 

And oh man, was that ever therapeutic.

And my day has been getting better since! I got myself a jugo juice. I got myself addicted to Jersey Shore. I ate peanut m&m's. And I skyped with my bestie and took our friendship to a whole new level.

Moral of the story - popping zits is the solution to all of your life's problems.

#No Offense..

*just a heads up this post might be super offensive despite the title. Don't read it if you're easily offended. Or if you're going to judge me. Or if you're going to complain about it later.

Sometimes I swear.

Sometimes it's on purpose, sometimes it's an accident.

I don't swear like a sailor, but I swear more than I should.

Except I don't really believe in the whole concept of swearing.

Like, who decided that this one particular word is so bad.

That when people hear it they cringe. Mother's cover their children's ears. People scoff at the vulgarity. The elderly gasp in astonishment.

A four letter word starting with F and ending with uck.

It literally means nothing to me. Nothing at all. I hear people say it, whisper it, yell it, cry it every day. And if you aren't saying it I know you're thinking it at some point in your head.

Know what I have to say to that?

Who gives a fuck?

You know what word really offends me? That has a meaning in my life? That isn't just some four letter word that someone somewhere decided was "a swear"

Cancer.

I promise that word has some kind of meaning in your life too.

Maybe it's something you or someone you know overcame. Maybe it's not. Maybe it has robbed you from something you deserve.

No matter how you dress it up it's an ugly word. Something nobody ever wants to hear.

Jack Layton died at age 61 from cancer today and in his last letter to Canadians he said:

"My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world."

I am so sorry this is happening to you. I can't think of anyone who would deserve it less than you. You are so sweet and caring and funny. But I know beyond that you're strong. You can overcome this. This is not a death sentence. You can do this. God is bigger than this. You have so many people standing by you. I have so much faith that you will be okay.

Every day I've had you in my life has been a blessing, and I expect there to be many years to come.

I will pray for you.

And I love you.

#Morning Mantra

I am beautiful. 

Today will be a good day. 

I will not let people get me down. 

I will only build myself up. 

I am smart.

 I am kind.

I am a good person.

  Positive thoughts only. 

I will learn something new. 

I will push my limits.

 I do not need anyone to validate me.

 I have so much to offer the world.

 I can and will make a difference. 

Because I am who I am. 

And I am beautiful. 

#Chubbers

I know I haven't been blogging much.

And to be completely honest it's because I don't know what to say.

I feel like nothing I put out there is worth people reading anymore.

I've taken on a very negative way of thinking about myself. And it's been really detrimental to my health and self esteem.

Yesterday a friend sent me a link to a blog.

And it was a super cool blog! It had lots of healthy recipes and healthy workouts and tips to be healthy. It was awesome and healthy. Here's a link!

http://undressedskeleton.tumblr.com/

Super awesome cool right?!?

So due to some recent events in my life, the inspiration I found from this blog, and some advice from my Mama, I've decided to focus on what I choose from her blog and take a whole new perspective on my life. 

My life will no longer be focused around being what other people tell me is beautiful. I will no longer strive to be "skinny". I won't tear myself down. I won't conform to what other's want me to be.

What my life will be instead is focused around being healthy. I will eat right and exercise. I will listen to my body. I will treat myself with respect. I will be the person I know I can be. I will stop seeing myself as a 'body' and start seeing myself as 'somebody'.

Today marks the first day of my brain/body/life cleanse.

It won't happen overnight, but it will happen. I'm determined to make this change for myself. 

#Cake and Ice Cream

Today would have been my Dad's birthday. 

His 41st birthday.

Which is super young considering how old I am.

And even younger considering he won't ever be that old.

Fourtyone.

Earlier this summer one of my friends said he went through a crisis when his dad turned 50.

Know what I have to say to that??

At least your dad got to turn 50.

My Daddy was an incredible man, full of life, love, and good advice. He had a kind heart and a winning smile. He didn't take crap from anyone. 

My mom, my sisters, my brother and I took a trip up to the mountains this weekend. To remember my Daddy and the good times we had up there. We went to the lake that he loved, we went up the mountains, and we walked around town. We shared laughs and good times, and held each other through the tears. It was an emotionally exhausting weekend.

I don't know how to feel right now. I pretty much just feel numb. 

Happy Birthday Daddy.

#Getting Ready

I have a confession.

I am a giant nerd.

Like seriously. Especially when it comes to school.

I have an organization fetish when it comes to my school work.

I have binders and dividers and folders and notebooks and agendas and schedules and pens. Many many different colored pens.

20 to be exact.

They go yellow-orange-red-reddish pink-pink-purpley pink-purple-dark blue-slightly less dark blue-blue-light blue-teal-light green-green-forest green-brown-yucky orange-grey-silvery grey-black.

Yucky orange was thrown in the back because I don't really use it. It's not pretty like the others.

And I color code everything. Everything.

This is my schedule next semester:

EAST 321 - Introduction into Calgary's Chinese Community

CORE 553 - Disability across a lifespan

NURS 401 - Community Health Theory

NURS 402 - Community Health Practice

PHIL 347 - Contemporary Moral Problems

And this is how the color coding will go

EAST 321 - textbook notes

EAST 321 - class notes

CORE 553 - textbook notes

CORE 553 - class notes

NURS 401 - textbook notes

NURS 401 - class notes

NURS 402 - clinical notes

NURS 402 - assignments

PHIL 347 - textbook notes

PHIL 347 - class notes


I also check my school email pretty much every day. And I saw that one of my instructors posted his course outline on his website.

So I checked it out.

And I wrote in my agenda in this pretty red color when all my assignments are due and other important dates for this course.

School doesn't start for over a month. And I am planning out my year.

And now I'm eagerly awaiting my other 4 courses to go up online so I can plan more. And color code more. And be more organized for the first day of school.

I also like to go out and buy my schooly materials at about this time. And I always buy recycled notebooks and stuff. So that I'm environmentally friendly while going to school. I feel like it makes up for me driving my greenhouse gas spewing car sometimes everywhere I go.

So anyway, you can pretty much hold me to this post once I actually start school again and complain about not having a life. Because we all know that's going to happen. In all seriousness though, I really, really love school. Because I love learning new things and sounding smart and stuff. I like to whip out crazy knowledge at parties and the bar. Because guys find that super attractive and not at all intimidating. That is clearly how you get all the boys.

#Love.Is.Found.Everywhere.

Pretty much sums it up.

#Crows Feet

People keep asking me:

What was the most important thing you learned in Belarus?

And every time I answer it's different.

They only eat chicken and potatos.

Different cultures are literally different worlds.

Moscow hates Canadians.

Oolibka = smile in Russian.

Jesus loves endlessly and can work miracles through you.

But my final answer is different. There is something way bigger that I learned that is none of the above. (Well, the Jesus thing is pretty big, but I already knew that so I don't feel like it should be classified as something I learned there.)

No matter where you go, no matter what language they speak, no matter who you are talking to: smiling is the international language.

It doesn't matter where you go. People are drawn to the positive. Think about it. Would you be more likely to approach someone who is complaining about your food, and your washrooms, and your general standard of living; or someone who is smiling, laughing, making jokes, and taking everything about your culture in stride?

It's true! Nobody likes a pouter. Nobody. Ever.

So here's my advice to you:

if you're going to travel bring with you - pain killers(for pain), antihistamines(for allergies), antiemetics(in case you have to puke), laxatives (in case you can't poop), antidiarrheals(in case you can't stop pooping), peanut butter(just in case your stomach really REALLY doesn't agree with the food), and toilet paper(just in case. It's a luxury from home).

Put in a genuine effort to submerse yourself into the new culture and it's beliefs.

And smile. You'll make lots of friends.

#Let the tears fall freely

I feel it today.

The acute pain in my chest. The one that makes it hard to expand my ribcage to take in a breath. The feeling of rocks filling up my thoracic cavity leaving no room for my internal organs. The physical fullness contrasting the emotional emptiness.

I long to be held in my Daddy's arms again. To feel the safe sanctuary of protection and love silently build itself around me.

I miss his voice, his laugh, his jokes, his smile. I miss his guidance, and his kind heart.

I miss having a Daddy.

The one guy to come home to every night. The one guy who wouldn't let me down, no matter the circumstance. The one guy who would stand by every decision I made.

The one guy who called me 'daughter'. Who looked at me through eyes blinded by unconditional love. Who I had no qualms trusting with every fibre of my being.

I resent people for having what I don't have. Then I get mad at myself for feeling resentment. And I'm constantly in a vicous circle of jealousy and anger.

But you taught me to love. You were an amazing example of love. And I want to live by your example.

I just wish there wasn't such a sharp sense of loss lingering over my head.

I love you, Daddy. I wish you were here.

#A Picture's Worth A Thousand Words - Belarus Part 7

I know I promised this a few days ago. I just havent gotten around to editing it and stuff. Because I like pretty things and because this is my blog it will be a pretty thing.

Every picture, every person, everything you see has a story, and a background. There is a reason God sent all the people He did to that camp, and I think that there was a huge impact, not just on the campers but the people who were running it as well.

This is my story in pictures. We did everything from obstacle courses, amaing races, line dances, indoor campfires, talent shows, skits, english classes, bible studies, concerts, and most importantly building relationships. I hope you enjoy these pictures even a fraction as much as I enjoyed being around these people. Lalalalove

Big thanks to Pasha for letting me use some of these pictures! I have so much love for everyone in them.

Rye x