#I Thought Of You Today

I thought of you today. I think of you every day.

I think about you in the fall.

When the leaves change colours. When the air becomes crisp and nips at your lungs.

I think of the days you raked leaves into giant piles. And I would jump in.

I think of how proud you were of all of us. For every drawing, painting, or craft we made for you. And every good grade we brought home from school.

I think about you in the winter.

When the snow blankets the ground and the wind turns your blood into icicles.

I think of sitting in the kitchen with our coffee. Laughing about silly things like "whore" frost. Talking about the house you would build me.

I think of building giant snowmen and coming inside soaked to the bone. And hot chocolate with marshmallows.

I think of Christmas morning with blueberry muffins and hot beverages. With six of us exhausted but happy.

I think about you in the spring.

When the snow melts away, and the trees start budding. The air is perfumed with rain and flowers and life.

I think about the day we became one family. You married my mom and accepted me as a daughter.

I think about you cutting grass and flirting with mom through the window.

I think about the day you sat me down because you were worried about me being bullied. And all the confidence you gave me for so many years.

I think about you in the summer. 

When the days are long, and the sun shines down.

I think of you standing at the front of your boat. Floating on the Shuswap. In your own oasis.

I think of you laughing at me the morning after I threw up on a cowboy.

I thought of you today. I think of you every day.

I think about you when I make big decisions, and when I run into obstacles. I think of you when I accomplish something, and when I struggle through the every day challenges. I think of you in the morning when nobody else is awake or home. I think of you in the evening when I sit down to eat supper. I think of you at night when I hear noises outside of my window.

Sometimes the things I miss aren't the big things. It's not always that I need your guidance, or opinion. It's not that you're missing anything special. It's not that I need something built, or fixed, or opened. It's not that I need to be protected or saved.

Sometimes I just miss hearing you walk around the house (like an elephant). Or hearing you talk to the kids. I miss hearing you whistling. Or insisting on touching and playing with anything new and unknown. And your laugh. I really miss hearing you laugh.

I thought of you today. I think of you every day. 

But I know you think of me too.

And that makes tomorrow seem so much brighter.

#Runner's high

Earlier this year I was doing so well with working out and running.

Literally I would be going at least 3-4 times a week.

Then I got lazy. And I haven't been working out nearly as much as I should be.

Liiiiiike never.

But I need to start training for a 10k run in about six weeks. And so out come the running shoes (for my toesies), the watch (to pretend I've made a good time), the headbands (to look the part of an intense worker-outer) and the iPod (because working out with music is so much more pleasant).

And because I love being judged, and because nobody really reads this blog anyway, I'll write out my running playlist (one of them, the one I will be running to later today!)

18 songs
Total workout time - 68:47

Warm up!

Fuego - Pitbull ft. Don Omar (Dj Buddha remix)

Nothing quite gets you fired up and ready for a run like some rap...about fire. Also - I like Pitbull, so sue me! This song get's me pumped up with a quick stretch and walk-to-jog. Time to get down to business.

Run time!

Not Afraid - Eminem

Anger! Rawr! Eminem sets the pace for this run right off the bat. Use his angst, channel every one of your negative feelings and pound them out through your feet. Get it out! Punch the air as you're running if you have to! Use your run to let your frustration flow out of you! Drop your rocks!

Swing - Savage

Who doesn't love this 'Knocked Up' classic!? Remember when they played this like four times a night at the bar a few years ago? Do they still do that? Who knows! Back to your run! Get your inner running slut on and wiggle your hips to the beat of this song. Or don't. But if you don't then you should push yourself harder, and farther. Work for those swing-able hips!

Say My Name - Destiny's Child

Ok. Not going to lie. I love Destiny's Child. And I love this song. And I sing it when I go to karaoke. I actually sing it with two of my friends. And they are both guys! We are one rockin threesome! So I usually practice my harmonies in my head instead of thinking of how much my legs want to give out.

Game On - District 78

Meow! I love this song! When I hear this song I immediately think of Melanie and Sasha being super sexy on the 8th season of So You Think You Can Dance. And every time I think of that dance I think of how sexy I want to be. And this song has the perfect beat for being sexy to ;)

Lights Turned On - Childish Gambino

OMG. Anybody who knows me knows how much I LOVE Childish Gambino. Even when he's Donald Glover. I am going to marry this guy, I swear. Any way, considering someone just called me a "small chick with a fat ass" (or something along those lines. He might have called me a 'tiny girl' but he definitely told me I have a fat ass) it seems fitting that I have this song on my running playlist. Let's all work to be small chicks with....nice butts!

Makeshift Kingdom - Sweatshop Union

Ok, you've been killing it up until now, so I'll give you a bit of a break. Slow down a bit, jog or walk it out, but don't stop. This is a good song, because it has a bit of a slower beat, but starts building up that anger that Eminem was cultivating for us earlier!

You Need Me I Don't Need You - Ed Sheeran

Let's get your feet going again! Pick up the pace to a British ginger singing to you super fast. I know you love accents. And I love Ed Sheeran. More than someone who doesn't really listen to Brit pop probably should like him. Anyway, he has a genius line right at the end of this song about elevators. I'm going to make you listen to the entire song just to hear it. And you should be running while listening. Boom!

Sextasy - East Clubbers

This song makes me want to be sexy. All I picture when running to this song is how sexy I'm going to look all sweaty and fit (That's actually just what I look like in my head, because when I'm sweaty in real life I look like death. And a half.). Eyes on the prize, keep pushing through!

Semi-Charmed Life - Third Eye Blind

An oldie, but a goodie!  Doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo. No one will judge you if you start dancing a little bit to this one while running. Actually, people will probably judge you, but I won't! I completely understand! It's a dancey running song. Just keep running, it's your safest bet.

Pass That Dutch - Missy Elliot

"Symptoms have been said to be: heavy breathing, wild dancing, coughing. So when you hear the sound HOO DEE HOOOOOO! Run for cover, mother....." Oh ya. I think I have that unknown virus, it's attacking my run. Heavy breathing. wild..running. Coughing. Waiting for the HOO DEE HOOOOO! I don't even want to think about how young I was when this song came out. I was also really fat when this song came out. But I'm not super fat anymore! And this song actually has a great beat to run to. So that's why it's here.

Ghost - Fefe Dobson

Oh Fefe! I can't believe he was cheating on you! What a d-bag! It's a good thing you sing this upbeat song about it! Run through the pain, girl!

Harder To Breathe - Maroon 5

Slow down again! Not all the way, but enough. Let's take it from a 7 or 8 to a 4 or 5. Take a minute to catch your breath, because soon it's going to be harder to breathe ;). Now is the time for some good positive self talk! You're almost there, you can do it! 

Sunrise - Childish Gamino

Double up! Love Childish Gambino, obviously he was going to be on this playlist again. This is my favourite out of all of his songs to run to, hence why it comes right after the break. He makes me want to be better. Even though he's really aggressive and angry in this song. Love him.

Lovestoned (Tiesto Remix) - Justin Timberlake

Normally I'm not a huge fan of Tiesto. Or Justin Timberlake. But for some reason I really enjoy this song. Those flashing lights make me wanna run. I wanna make someone love stoned with my rockin body. From running. Keep running. Running.

Survivor - Destiny's Child

Second last song! You're a survivor. Second double on the list. But honestly, who doesn't love these eccentric ladies?! They can pump you up for just about anything! They survived a break up with some asshole, you can survive the last bit of this run!

Something Happened On The Way To Heaven - Phil Collins

PHIL! PHIL COLLINS! This is it. You are in the home stretch. You can run, and you can hide. But Phil won't leave unless you go with him! This is my all time favourite Phil song. And this is the last song that you run to! Sprint it out, this is when you kill it.

Cool down!

What's Luv? - Fat Joe ft. Ashanti

Yay! You've done it! The last song on my running playlist is always my favourite. Well...this song isn't actually my favourite, I do like it though, and I knew he was a lonely guy who wanted to be on my playlist so I told him he could be my cool down. Because, really, what's love got to do with it?

Song suggestions?! I'd love to hear them!

Much love xo