#I'm Forgivin'

My heart has been heavy as of late.
I've been thinking lots about my life, and how it's come to this point. And I've been feeling a lot of resentment towards certain people.
Which made me mad at myself.


Don't get me wrong...I don't try not to hold grudges.
Because once I saw a movie called "The Grudge" and it was scary.
THAT was a lie and a half. I never saw that movie, I don't think. And if I did it didn't have enough of an effect for me to remember it. AND I like scary movies. Who'da thunk it.


But anyways, back to the not so scary topic of the day:


I'm currently in the process of forgiving. Jesus forgave me, I forgive you kinda deal. I like to live like Jesus. He seemed like a decent the ultimate guy.


So to everyone who has ever done me wrong in any way shape or form,
whether it was the words: spoken, whispered, yelled, unsaid - to my face, behind my back or not at all.
or the actions: rude, insulting, betraying, against - directly or indirectly, purposeful or accidental.
whatever it is that you have done, and are going to do, I forgive you.


And in return I'm asking you to forgive me.
For the words: spoken, whispered, yelled, unsaid - to your face, behind your back or not at all.
or the actions: rude, insulting, betraying, against - directly or indirectly, purposeful or accidental.
For what I have done, and what I am going to do, please forgive me.


I won't ever be the nicest person, I won't ever be free from doing wrong. But I can promise you this: I will try my very hardest to become a better person. I won't be such a rude-judgey-mean person. I strive to be the person you want to be around. But I need you to forgive me for what I've done to you in the past.

The world would be a beautiful place if no grudges were held, and no anger was kept <3

#Chronicles of a Sicky Girl

12:08 - I just woke up from my nap and decided to do this. Because I'm a psycho when  I'm sick and I feel like people need to know it. I just had a conversation, out loud, with my brother. But I'm lying in a hotel room alone. Psycho.

12:20 - I just got off the phone with my mom. She told me to take Advil. I'm going to continue laying in bed and wasting my life away instead.

12:41 - I finally took that darned Advil. It was the opposite of delicious. Actually, I don't know that for sure, I swallowed it with some apple juice, and the apple juice was delicious, but from previous experiences from accidentally chewing medications...definitely the opposite of delicious. I said delicious a lot in this part. I think medicine is really poison cause it is nasty. 

12:52 - I put on another sweater and another pair of socks and I am trying to figure out how this stupidface air conditioner works because this room is freezing. I also forgot to tell you I turned on the TV and I'm watching Reboot. I think I am going to text my friend Devin to tell him.

12:59 - I did tell Devin, and now I just remembered I told my friend John my next blog post would be about him. But I don't think he realizes that I was up vomiting all night. I don't actually think he will care about this post not being about him. I will get around to his eventually!

1:07 - The old school spiderman cartoon is now on. I have no idea what channel I'm watching. I dont even know where the remote is. Ohhh what a life I live. 

1:25 - I think quinoa made me sick. Every time I think about it I start throwing up in the back of my throat. It was delectable at the time, but the thought of it is making me want to chunder. It's the devil's food I'm pretty sure.

1:56 - I just looked in the mirror and I look like an old man's dirty butthole. I think it's because I fell asleep with my hair wet. And I didn't take my makeup off before I showered. And I'm sick.

2:11 - Remember earlier when I called myself psycho? After working on the Mental Health unit I don't think that was correct of me to say. I'm delusional. And psychotic because I'm hallucinating. So maybe psycho wasn't wrong. Oh well. We'll stick with psycho. 

2:46 - I want to take a bath. Just to soak and forget all my body's troubles. I will remember this while Nursing people. People like baths.

2:59 - I just talked to my mother again. She is good at coddling me. I think it's all her years of practice. Also, I'm in a hotel room and housekeeping hasn't come yet. And I don't have a DO NOT DISTURB sign on the door because my crazy mother wants them to come empty our garbages. She told me to call down to the desk. I will do it when I feel like it. 

3:03 - Housekeeping just came and I didn't even have to call! Miracles happen! It's a good thing I havent had my bath yet. If I was naked in the tub that would have been weird. 

3:15 - I wonder how long it would take me to walk from Edmonton to Calgary.

3:22 - I don't know if you know this, but I am taking Nursing right now. Like at school. And not RIGHT now, because at this very moment in time I'm watching Community and feeling sorry for myself. I miss my nursing friends. I bet they would take care of me! Then I wouldn't have to get out of bed to take Advil and figure out how to turn off the butthead air conditioner.

3:26 - I figured out how to turn off the butthead air conditioner! I also decided against taking a bath. Because cleanliness is for fools. (I'm a dirty little liar, I showered this morning, I just wanted to pretend to be a submarine in the ocean but I figure I am too old and mature for that)

3:55 - I just finished my apple juice. It was yummy. I'm also fairly sure it had healing powers! Here's hoping, anyways!

4:10 - I feel like my blog is in that awkward stage where I only have a couple posts. I feel it because I know it actually. This will be my third post. Nobody wants to read a blog with 3 posts. Unfortunately I have to continue in this sad stage until it is in a less sad stage and people don't think it's a wimpy little guy anymore.

4:20 - Does anybody else remember Bananas in Pajamas?

4:22 - I just started my second apple juice.

5:04 - Sometimes I wish people could honestly just see that they're making their lives so much harder for themselves. Mostly girls. Including myself I think. Like, I like to consider myself a fairly independent person but I'd be lying if I said I don't like it when I have a guy in my life. Except I have this huge commitment issue, and so I like guys...until they really start to care about me. Then I panic, and feel smothered, and run for the hills. I need to figure my head out. I also need higher standards. Me and like 90% of my girlfriends need higher standards. Guys don't define us. And we do NOT need to be dependent on them in any way. To every girl who is going to read this (probably not many - third post, remember?) you are beautiful. And you DO NOT need a boy to tell you that.

5:13 - I'm considering taking that last section off, but if I do I'll have to take this section off too. So if this part makes it you'll know that you got my full psycho brain for the say.

5:30 - I'M CAWAAAAZZZZYYYYY !!!!!! I just thought about dancing around the room. But it hurt my sicky body to even consider it. I'll dance tomorrow!

6:01 - If you've made it this far, congrats. I'm ending it here though. I have nothing left to say, not that anything I've said thus far has been anything worthwhile. I just looked at what I've added in the last hour and decided you people have had enough of me. I am posting a picture now. 

This was a card I got from my best friend for my 18th birthday. It still makes me laugh :)

#My mom is a champ

My mom is my best friend.

She is one of the sweetest people you'll ever meet. She's funny and cute and kind. And she looks JUST like me. Except old. (just kidding Mommy!)

As I'm writing this we are laying in bed watching TV and on separate computers, kind of talking, but mostly just enjoying each other's company quietly. Except now that I look over she is sleeping...and snoring....how long has that been going on??

My mother is my role model. She constantly makes me laugh, and has passed on her cute sense of humor to me. We get along grandly (minus the bickering that happens every once in a while), and she always knows what is going to happen before it happens. My mom is the reason our family is so close with each other, and so close with God. She's taught us all values and beliefs that make us the good Christian kids that we are. 

She also says some of the most ridiculous stuff, my favorite is when she repeats what I say exactly. This is how it used to go

Mariah: "Oh my goodness! This is SOOOO funny!"

Mom: "This is SOOOO funny!"

Mariah: "Is there an echo in here?"

But with constant and ruthless teasing from me and my siblings my mom has learned her flawed ways and today it went like this:

Mariah: "It's so busy now! It's a good thing we came out to eat early!"

Mom: "It's a good thing...we.......came.........early.............you just said that didn't you?"

Oh mother, mother. A couple of other good quotes from this past week

(in reference to my mission trip to Belarus)

Mom: "Belarus? Where in Africa is that??"

Mariah: "Mom I'm lonely when you're not home."

Mom: "Be careful! It's when you're lonely that you start dating those...mongrels"

Mom: "Rye, what's emesis?"

Mariah: "Vomit, why?"

Mom: "I know that!" 

Mariah: "Then why did you ask?"

Mom: ".....I didn't know that :)"

I aspire to be like this woman!

#Adventure Time

It is a Friday night, and I am starting a blog. Woooo! Go social life!!!

No, really, I am that wicked awesome. 

I have been reading other people's blogs for a billion years now and have been talking about writing my own for a billion years minus one day! So today when I woke up I decided that it would be the day I would start my quest for excellence blogging adventure!

No, actually when I woke up I decided that today would be the day I would get up and shower. Much like any other day. And today was the day that I was going to start working out again....just like every other day. But, alas, today was not the day of working out, it was the day of eating ice cream and writing a blog.

I'm not going to pretend I'm poetic, or insightful for writing this. I honestly could read a person's blog for hours on end because I love tapping into people's mind for even just a second. I love living vicariously through people (even though my life is interesting enough as it is) but mostly I love to share. And so share with you I will dear folk! I will share whatever I feel important enough to do so!

I love you, world!!