#I Thought Of You Today

I thought of you today. I think of you every day.

I think about you in the fall.

When the leaves change colours. When the air becomes crisp and nips at your lungs.

I think of the days you raked leaves into giant piles. And I would jump in.

I think of how proud you were of all of us. For every drawing, painting, or craft we made for you. And every good grade we brought home from school.

I think about you in the winter.

When the snow blankets the ground and the wind turns your blood into icicles.

I think of sitting in the kitchen with our coffee. Laughing about silly things like "whore" frost. Talking about the house you would build me.

I think of building giant snowmen and coming inside soaked to the bone. And hot chocolate with marshmallows.

I think of Christmas morning with blueberry muffins and hot beverages. With six of us exhausted but happy.

I think about you in the spring.

When the snow melts away, and the trees start budding. The air is perfumed with rain and flowers and life.

I think about the day we became one family. You married my mom and accepted me as a daughter.

I think about you cutting grass and flirting with mom through the window.

I think about the day you sat me down because you were worried about me being bullied. And all the confidence you gave me for so many years.

I think about you in the summer. 

When the days are long, and the sun shines down.

I think of you standing at the front of your boat. Floating on the Shuswap. In your own oasis.

I think of you laughing at me the morning after I threw up on a cowboy.

I thought of you today. I think of you every day.

I think about you when I make big decisions, and when I run into obstacles. I think of you when I accomplish something, and when I struggle through the every day challenges. I think of you in the morning when nobody else is awake or home. I think of you in the evening when I sit down to eat supper. I think of you at night when I hear noises outside of my window.

Sometimes the things I miss aren't the big things. It's not always that I need your guidance, or opinion. It's not that you're missing anything special. It's not that I need something built, or fixed, or opened. It's not that I need to be protected or saved.

Sometimes I just miss hearing you walk around the house (like an elephant). Or hearing you talk to the kids. I miss hearing you whistling. Or insisting on touching and playing with anything new and unknown. And your laugh. I really miss hearing you laugh.

I thought of you today. I think of you every day. 

But I know you think of me too.

And that makes tomorrow seem so much brighter.