#Bubble Wrap

Everyone knows how much I fucking hate cancer. Well there's something I hate almost as much. And that's dim wit's telling me that everything in the world could possibly cause it. Here's to you, assholes!

Dear everyonelecturingmeaboutwhatcausescancer,

Kindly shut up.

I know what causes cancer. My dad actually died from cancer. It wasn't caused by genetics, it was acquired. The doctors don't know WHAT caused it, but unfortunately it happened. Don't tell me that I shouldn't be drinking my favourite tea because it's possibly carcinogenic.

Here's a list of everyday things that cause cancer:

- Sunshine
- Red meat
- Cell phones
- Alcohol
- Exercise
- Diet soda's
- Birth control
- Deodorant
- Olive oil
- Peanuts
- Sex
- Tea
- Hair dye
- Microwaves
- Breathing
- Sunscreen
- Water bottles
- Coffee
- Margarine
- Saran wrap
- Obesity

That's just to name a few.

Here's a list of everything that is 100% proven to prevent cancer.

-

Ya. I know.

Sunshine causes cancer, but also provides you with natural vitamin D which prevents cancer. Exercise produces free radicals in your body which cause cancer, but it staves off obesity which also causes cancer. Alcohol causes cancer but red wine has antioxidants that help prevent cancer. Blueberries prevent cancer, but diet's high in fruits can be dangerous to your health in other ways.

There's nothing wrong with trying to prevent getting cancer, but at the end of the day you still have to live your life. Don't stop drinking beer, having sex, and working out because taking part in those activities could possibly cause cancer.

You want to know what you should do instead of worrying about every little thing that could be carcinogenic?

Eat vegetables. Take vitamins. Exercise. Drink water. Relax. Brush your teeth. Live a life that's happy and healthy.

And the next time you feel like you need to share with me that my lipstick causes cancer, so I should colour them with berries instead....shut the fuck up. I wasn't asking.