"Skinny doesn't always mean healthy. Obese never means healthy, but lucky for you, you're not either!"
"Grab the metaphorical bull by the horns, and grab the mechanical bull by the rope."
"I refuse to eat tiramisu until your mom makes me some."
"Why is that guy's light flashing?"
"Because he wants to change lanes...."
"I don't think I'm ready to drive."
"You can literally overcomplicate boiling water!"
"I only know two things for sure: 1 - Denny's is the cure to all of life's problems and 2 - never trust a girl with a nipple ring."
"The Lions winning the Grey Cup is like Ben getting herpes. We all know it's going to happen so nobody really cares when it does."
"For American Thanksgiving I'm thankful I'm not American."
"Skinny blonde bitches....the worst kind of bitches."
"I like your moustache. And when I said 'like' I really meant 'am grossed out by'."
"I'mma bust outta this hospital and wreck a ho...or take a nap. Busting out seems like a lot of work."
"I love when flexidave teaches us useful things like how to properly ride a bull."
"I love to love Dong Lover's dong."
"I just wanna cuddle your face off, then put it back on cause I love it so much!"
"Stop looking at my elbows. Pervert."
"I officially have $3.14 to last me until payday."
"Know what you should buy with it? Pi."
"Sometimes I just grab my pecks and wish they were boobs."
Dear all of my friends,
Please don't ever leave me. And thank you for making it so easy to be the happy, bubbly person I am!
Love, Rye. xo
