#Coulda fooled ya!

April 1 2010 
- unhappily living in a life of denial.
- in an unhealthy relationship with someone completely wrong for me.
- watching someone very close to me suffer with pain and illness.
- internalizing every feeling that fluttered across my heart.

April 1 2011
- happily living a life of fullness and faith.
- learning to cope with things I cannot control.
- pacing myself when it comes to liking guys to make sure I like them for the right reasons.
- writing a blog to make everyone else deal with my feelings.

In the past year I have changed substantially. I've become more of the person I want to be, and less of the person people want me to be. I've stopped obsessing about things I can't control, I've started giving back to my community more, I've learned how to manage my time, and finances, and life in a way that keeps me comfortably content.

But best of all I've started to get to know myself.

NOT Rye - the girlfriend of that guy
NOT Rye - the friend of that person
NOT Rye - the one with the pretty hair
NOT Rye - that girl you met once and put off a good impression but it really has nothing to do with who she really is

But Rye, Mariah Ashley, the person, the daughter of Marj and Terry, sister of Matthew, Jessica, and Samantha, student of the faculty of nursing, follower of Jesus, superstar in the car, slave to homework, master of the 10 second getreadytoleavethehousesupersuperfastbecauseitotallyforgotihadthatthingtodo, spokesperson of beliefs, expander of vocabulary, reporter of useless facts, lover of nature, pioneer of adventures, mind of ideas, embracer of awkward smiles. 


I want to travel the world, I want to make a difference to at least one person. I crave adventure and excitement, I am driven towards all of my goals and have a tendancy to take on too much at once and feel overwhelmed. I turn to my mother for advice, I turn to Jesus for guidance, I turn to my friends for affirmation, I turn to my daddy for validation. I wear yoga pants 9 days out of 10, I work out once every 3 months and complain for a week about how sore I am, I laugh at everything that comes out of my mouth and probably 90% of what comes out of yours. Hugs are my favorite. I'm very emotional, usually happy, but occasionally sad. I eat an abundance of ice cream, and that won't ever change. 


I love pedicures, and panda bears. I think orchids are beautiful. I won't turn my back on the people who love me, and I won't pretend I'm better than anyone else. I cry more when watching a sad movie than I will at my own real life. I ask stupid questions, and occasionally say stupid things, but I really am smart. I hate when people degrade me because of my age or sex. I only like tomatoes in sauces. I exaggerate 125% of things that happen to me. Gardening is the opposite of my forte, in fact, I can kill bamboo. It's a good day if I remember to put makeup on. If not? It's still a good day, just minus the mascara.


In 5 years I want to have a house of my very own that I can call my home, I want to have been on every continent, I want to give back to my community and to the world on a regular basis, I want to write a novel, I want to have a steady job, and I want to be at least started on the second part of my education. I want to know how to scuba dive. I want to build my relationship with God into something I can't even begin to imagine right now. I want to embrace every day that passes with a smile and an openness in my heart to take on whatever happens. 
In 10 years I want to be married with a start on my family, I want to be the mother and wife that my mommy was to me and is to my dad. I want to be financially stable, I want my family to grow up somewhere nice. I want to be healthy. I don't want to be a hypocritical nurse walking around with a donut in my hand. I want to be the person who can make people smile, and never become jaded about the world. I want to look back on the last 10 years and be able to say "I regret nothing."


So in the 60 seconds it took to read this you got to briefly know me as a person. You can choose to love me or hate me or anything in between. But I know who I am, I know where I come from, and I have a good idea of where I'm going. And, for now, that's all I need.

ps I'm aware how self involved this post is, but you read the whole thing and got down to this part so don't deny that you love me! Also, today is April fool's, hence the title of the post, but this was not a drill people. This was the really real thing.